blaktee.

jokes ville Two Communities, Okitipupa and Igbokoda in Ondo state,decided to hold a drinking competition.  A week to the competition, Okitipupa community sent a delegate to Igbokoda, to confirm if the competition will still hold. When the guy that was sent got to Igbokoda, the people of Igbokoda brought 20 litres of their strongest Ogogoro (Local Gin) for his entertainment. The Okitipupa guy asked, "Can I test it?". The people replied, "Go ahead" The guy drank and finished the whole 20 litres in minutes and said, "This is okay, where is the main drink?".The People of Igbokoda screamed, "Come o, are you among the competitors?" The guy replied, "No, I did not qualify". 😂😂😝😂😂

On a change note... I Wanted to buy a book in a bookshop, then I saw some books with these following Titles:... (1) How to look Beautiful/Handsome by:Obasanjo. I was confused! (2). Food that will make you grow tall by: Osita Iheme (pawpaw). I was so confused!! (3). My Love for Nigeria by: Abubakar Shekau. very surprised! (4). Tips on how to get Married by: Genevieve Nnaji. I was shocked! (5).The Joy of Poverty by: Aliko Dangote. over shocked!! (6).The formula of playing safe by:Tuface idibia!! I was flabagasted. (7).Economic Principles of not embezzling:by Dasuki & Dieziani I started sneezing (8).Guidelines on how to pass your English Language by: Patience Jonathan. I just fainted!!!!! Abeg if it's u, which of them would you buy??? 😂 😂 ....

NIGERIANS FUNNIEST IS ABROAD                                                        Nigerian guy living in Sweden smartly married a Swedish Lady, so as to be legally certified with resident permit. However, the lady was not aware of this. He lied to the Lady that he is from Kenya because of the bad reputation of Nigerians in that part of Sweden.. After their wedding, the Lady informed him that she met her friend who is also married to a Kenyan & would like them to have diner together one day. The Naija guy was disturbed & kept thinking how to get out of this? He postponed & postponed the diner until he got tired of postponing. Finally, D-DAY came & they all sat down in a restaurant. Our Naija guy was quiet & was sweating profusely in spite of the cold atmosphere of Sweden (-8C). The Ladies asked their husbands to com...

Share this please Sir & Ma, This is to inform you that there is a new technique being used by robbers and other criminals to escape arrest. I was just alerted by a friend that robbers are now collecting used recharge cards, and once they abandon hijacked cars or where they dump the dead bodies, they leave the already used cards at the scene or near the victims. When the police arrive, they use the scratch card's serial number to track on which phone number it was loaded; and they start tracking the owner of the phone number. Already, two people who fell victim of the trick are in Kirikiri. To be on the safe side, once you load airtime, make sure you destroy the card before you dispose it to avoid access of these undesirable elements. Kindly circulate for the safety of your loved ones. Be cautious!

Do Police Officers read the Bible? A pastor was stopped by a traffic officer on fictitious driving violation. Sensing trouble, the pastor yelled back: “I am a pastor not a thief” The officer replied: “Please, leave that pastor thing. In any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car. Bring it.” The Pastor speedily brought out his Bible to prove his honesty. “Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me.” Said the police man. Incredulously, Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read: “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny” The perplexed man of God “QUIETLY” made an “offering” of new naira notes to his newly found “preacher”. The Officer collected his bribe and said to the...

My android phone don chop my money tire, na him I come vex yesterday sell am, come take some money buy Chinaphone! The phone get TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, Fire lighter etc. I fit write Text message with toothpicks sef. But now am in bigger trouble!!! 1. E go full after 3 minutes of charging. 2. The spellings get mistakes e.g NokLa, blackderry, i-pon, samswag etc. 3. When aeroplane pass, e go record "One missed Call". 4. When a big car horn; e go show "Charger connected" 5. When Chinese man pass, e go show: "One Bluetooth device found" 6. When fine lady waka pass, e go show "WiFi On" 7. When ugly lady waka pass, e go show, "Virus detected" Abeg ooo! I wan sell am! Who wan buy ooo? Even as I dey find buyer, e dey show me for screen say "No contacts found" Pls don't laugh alone, share with those you wish to put a smile on their face......

Ex-president Babangida opens up on his illness 421188 – Babangida has confirmed his illness while debunking the rumours that he is bedridden or dead – The former president has stated that nobody is above the God but Nigeria has a bright future – He also speaks about a wound he sustained during the Civil War Ibrahim Babangida, former head of state, has finally broken silence about his illness. He was speaking with some reporters on April 24, Sunday, in his home in Minna, the Niger state capital. Several days ago reports emerged that IBB,as many would call him, was seriously ill and disable. Former military president debunking the rumours said: “It is true I have minimised my appearance at public functions because of my ill health, but not to the level of incapacitation as being widely circulated in some media.” READ ALSO: Babangida’s son speaks about father’s illness “‎For me, it doesn’t shock me neither bother me because I know I must go and meet God my Creator,” he added. “There i...

See what Patoranking was hiding from these ladies (photo)  2 hours ago 7747 – Patoraking was in Australia on Saturday, April 23 where he performed – Ladies mobbed him but he did something to protect himself Patoranking Popular dancehall singer Patoranking was in Australian where he performed over the weekend. The Alubarika singer on Monday, April 25 shared a photo of himself being held by some of his female fans at a show he was performing at in Australia. He captioned: “❤️❤️❤️❤️ Is all I get All around the World 🌏🌎🌍 Seeing the happiness in their faces gives me Joy,Money can’t buy such Love…don’t talk about my hand 😂😂 Leave it there #Thankyou #Australia #Whayasay!!!” What caught peoples’ attention was the position of one of his hands. His male fans are hailing him for smartly protecting himself. Read some of the comments the photo has generated shared on his IG page: Nigerian hip highlife music star Flavour N’abania has been in Mali for a concert. Flavour was in Mali for ...

Gunmen murder son of traditional ruler in Imo 35 minutes ago 8641 – Gunmen assassinated Prince Chimaeze Oforduru, the son of the traditional ruler of Ikwuano Autonomous community in Isi Ala Mbano town of Imo state  Prince chimaeze oforduru – He was murdered in Owerri by armed gunmen who stormed his residence at 9:00 pm after reportedly trailing him – The incident happened a few weeks after Prince Chimaeze paid ransom to secure the release of his 5-year-old daughter that was abducted – The tragic death has thrown the community into mourning Prince Chimaeze Oforduru Unknown gunmen have reportedly assassinated Prince Chimaeze Oforduru, the son of the traditional ruler of Ikwuano Autonomous community in Isi Ala Mbano town of Imo state. PM News reports that Prince Chimaeze was brutally murdered on Saturday, April 23, a few weeks after he paid N5 million ransom to secure the release of his 5-year-old daughter that was abducted. Chimaeze was killed in Owerri ...

Special effects artist, Hakeem Onilogbo, has had the pleasure of bringing characters to life, through the use of makeup and 3D prosthetic effects. The artist took to his Facebook page to share picture and this This time he transformed Eki into the legendary pop star Michael Jackson. He shared the pictures while“Sometimes I feel like crying when I looked back @ what God is doing through my hands, I thank God for giving me a wonderful partner Eki Osagie. She said let’s try and replicate Michael Jackson . I was afraid. But she gave me the courage and this is where we found ourselves………I thank u Almighty God for using me” See more photos of the ‘pop star’ transformation below:  The before and after look . Hakeem posing with his muse See more pictures of Eki as different characters, after undergoing transformations from Hakeem what do you think? Does that remind you of the late pop star?   Actress Eki Osagie Before and after transformation   More pictures of Hakeems work...

BREAKING: Music star Papa Wemba dies at 66-years Popular Congolese music legend died at 66-years – Papa Wemba was reported to have died during a stage performance in Ivory Coast – Papa Wemba was an award winning music star before his demise, Papa Wemba’s last moment on stage Few days back, Michael Jackson’s rival Prince Rogers Nelson was seen dead in an elevator in his home in Minnesota, USA. Just minutes ago on Sunday, April 24, another music legend has been confirmed dead in Congo, after he slummed on stage. The Congolese music legend, Papa Wemba was reported to have slummed on stage mid-way to one of his songs and he died after in Abidjan, Ivory Coast as he dramatically fell on the floor. However, his backup singers rushed to him immediately to assist him before they called the ambulance. Confirming the sudden death of Papa Wemba, the organisers of the show from FEMUA immediately organized a press conference where the music icon was confirmed dead. According to UK Mirror, his press...

blaktee.: @GMB THREATENS MINISTERS : Buhari Allegedly Plans To Sack Two Ministers chux izu   46 minutes ago   26101 Sahara Reporters publishes a report tha...

during sex Pablo igho gave this report,  That  A 19-year-old young man, Sean Williams, has busted the buttocks of his 26-year-old older lover, Tamela Martin, during sex.  Tamela was reported to have called 911 after Sean made her butts to explode while they were having sex doggy style. Recounting the experience, she said: Sean Williams (R), Tamera (L) “We was doing it and then he flipped me over and began to tear it up from the back. Asked him several times to be gentle, then I began to beg him to stop. That’s when he started going harder. I felt pressure building up in my booty and it felt like my booty was trippling in size, I felt the skin stretching. It was a pain I never experienced.” Tamela who recently got butt enlargement injections was rushed to Grady Memorial Hospital after 911 got to the scene of the accident.  Williams is however being charged with assault as they claim he ignored her pleas to stop during sex and is therefore culpable. Officer Doug D...

President muhammaodu buhari in a budget circuitry meeting with VP..osinbanjo nd budget, national planning minister. Aftermath budget scrutiny

OFFICIAL 199.01 USD/NGN MARKET 320 USD/NGN NEWS › Local news Rivers: Seven corpses found in a pit – Corpses discovered in troubled Rivers community associated to cult-related shootout – Cult clashes not unconnected to recent political rivalry in the state – Police deny knowledge of the attack Residents of troubled Obibi community in Etche local government area of Rivers state have made a shocking discovery, Daily Post reports. Reports say at least seven dead bodies were found inside a pit in the community, with close sources in the area explaining that the unidentified bodies were discovered following fresh violence in the area. “There is a pit along Obibi where we saw the dead bodies. They are all male and we have reported to the community leaders. There have been heavy gun shooting since last weekend. READ ALSO: Top 15 quotes from Gov Wike’s interview “We don’t know if it was the recent shooting that caused the death of the men. We want the police to come and see things for ...

Yoruba traditional rulers' naked dance of shame – Two top class Yoruba traditional rulers are currently in a dispute over rank – The media war has pitched their subjects against themselves. The Awujale of Ijebuland (left) and Alake of Egbaland have been brawling over seniority issues Our once revered traditional institution has since lost its awe. Needless to say that the reverence once accorded the monarchy not just in Yoruba land but the entire country has been so eroded that some Nigerians have questioned the imperative of retaining this last vestiges of our per-colonial epoch. READ ALSO: Amaechi vs Wike: The Battle of the Titans A 2004 concept paper on the theme of ‘Governance for a Progressive Africa’’ by the Economic Commission for Africa had said: “The relevance of traditional institutions, especially chieftaincy, to the modern day transformation of African economies and governance systems is highly disputed in post -colonial literature. At the risk of over- generalization...

Have you ever wondered about what kind of things you would purchase if you were a millionaire? Perhaps a private jet, a giant mansion, luxury cars, diamonds left and right, expensive weekend getaways, etc. All the things that come to mind are often big ticket items, but what many people don’t think about are the small everyday household items like toilet paper and staples. These kinds of things are usually inexpensive, but who knew that you could buy a roll of toilet paper for $20? Or a set of staples for $175? If you have millions upon millions of dollars, you probably want every aspect of your life to be luxurious, mainly because you can afford it. Below are nine items that you probably have in your own house right now, but for a significantly cheaper price. 1. Posh Instant Noodles – $43 Source Here is the rich version of Ramen. Harrods is known for its posh products and they even have a line of instant noodles. The containers are hand-flocked with gold and com...